Emotional Agility: How to Master Your Emotions and Achieve Your True Potential
Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life
Do you ever feel stuck in a rut, unable to move forward or achieve your true potential? Do you struggle with managing your emotions, thoughts, and actions in challenging situations? Do you want to learn how to adapt, grow, and thrive in an uncertain world?
Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life download
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might benefit from reading Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, a bestselling book by Susan David, Ph.D., a renowned psychologist and expert on emotions, happiness, and achievement.
In this book, David draws on her more than twenty years of research to show that emotionally agile people are not immune to stresses and setbacks. Rather, they know how to navigate them with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. They also know how to align their actions with their values and make small changes that lead to a life of growth.
In this article, we will give you an overview of what emotional agility is, why it matters, how to develop it, and how to apply it in different domains of life. We will also tell you how to download the book and take a free quiz to assess your emotional agility.
What is emotional agility and why does it matter?
Emotional agility is a four-step approach that allows us to navigate life's twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. It is based on the idea that our emotions are not problems to be solved or obstacles to be overcome. Rather, they are valuable sources of information that can help us understand ourselves and our situation better.
Emotional agility matters because it helps us to cope with change, uncertainty, and complexity. It also helps us to achieve our goals, improve our relationships, enhance our well-being, and contribute to our communities. By being emotionally agile, we can:
Recognize our emotions without being overwhelmed by them
Detach from our thoughts without ignoring them
Act according to our values without being rigid or dogmatic
Make changes that matter without being impulsive or reckless
The four steps of emotional agility
The four steps of emotional agility are:
Showing up: facing your emotions with courage and compassion
Stepping out: detaching from your thoughts and observing them objectively
Walking your why: aligning your actions with your values
Moving on: making changes that matter
Let's look at each step in more detail.
Showing up: facing your emotions with courage and compassion
The first step of emotional agility is to show up to your emotions, meaning to acknowledge and accept them without judging or avoiding them. Many people tend to either bottle up or brood over their emotions, which can lead to more stress, anxiety, and depression. Instead, showing up to your emotions means to be honest and compassionate with yourself, and to recognize that your emotions are natural and valid.
Some ways to show up to your emotions are:
Naming your emotions: labeling your emotions can help you to reduce their intensity and gain more clarity. For example, instead of saying "I'm fine" when you're not, you can say "I'm feeling sad" or "I'm feeling angry".
Using a feelings journal: writing down your emotions can help you to process them and release them. You can also use a journal to reflect on what triggered your emotions and how you responded to them.
Practicing mindfulness: mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment with curiosity and openness. You can practice mindfulness by focusing on your breath, your body sensations, or your surroundings. Mindfulness can help you to calm your mind and body, and to observe your emotions without reacting to them.
Stepping out: detaching from your thoughts and observing them objectively
The second step of emotional agility is to step out of your thoughts, meaning to create space between your thoughts and yourself and see them as transient and contextual. Many people tend to get hooked by their thoughts, which can lead to rumination, worry, or self-criticism. Instead, stepping out of your thoughts means to realize that your thoughts are not facts, but rather interpretations of reality that can change over time and situation.
Some ways to step out of your thoughts are:
Using cognitive distancing: cognitive distancing is the technique of changing the perspective from which you view your thoughts. For example, instead of saying "I'm a failure" you can say "I'm having the thought that I'm a failure". This can help you to see your thoughts as separate from yourself and less absolute.
Using self-compassion: self-compassion is the attitude of being kind and understanding toward yourself, especially when you're suffering or struggling. You can practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would speak to a friend, acknowledging your pain, and reminding yourself that you're not alone.
Using humor: humor is the ability to find amusement or irony in a situation, even when it's difficult or painful. You can use humor by making jokes, laughing at yourself, or finding the funny side of things. Humor can help you to lighten up, reduce stress, and gain perspective.
Walking your why: aligning your actions with your values
The third step of emotional agility is to walk your why, meaning to identify your core values and use them as a guide for your decisions and behaviors. Many people tend to act on autopilot, following habits, rules, or expectations that may not reflect their true selves. Instead, walking your why means to live authentically and purposefully, according to what matters most to you.
Some ways to walk your why are:
Clarifying your values: values are the principles that give meaning and direction to your life. They are not goals or outcomes, but rather qualities or ways of being that you want to embody. For example, some values are honesty, creativity, kindness, or adventure. You can clarify your values by reflecting on what makes you happy, proud, or fulfilled.
Setting goals based on your values: goals are the specific actions or outcomes that you want to achieve in order to express or honor your values. For example, if one of your values is health, some goals could be eating well, exercising regularly, or sleeping enough. You can set goals based on your values by making them SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound).
Taking action based on your values: action is the process of putting your values into practice in everyday life. For example, if one of your values is learning, some actions could be reading a book, taking a course, or learning a new skill. You can take action based on your values by breaking down your goals into small steps, scheduling them in your calendar, and tracking your progress.
Moving on: making changes that matter
The fourth and final step of emotional agility is to move on, meaning to cultivate habits that support your goals and values and overcome obstacles along the way. Many people tend to get stuck in patterns of behavior that are ineffective, unfulfilling, or harmful. Instead, moving on means to make changes that matter, that are sustainable, and that lead to positive outcomes.
Some ways to move on are:
Using implementation intentions: implementation intentions are the plans that specify when, where, and how you will perform a certain action. For example, instead of saying "I will exercise more" you can say "I will go for a run every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7 am in the park". Implementation intentions can help you to increase your motivation, commitment, and consistency.
Using mental contrasting: mental contrasting is the technique of imagining the best possible outcome of achieving your goal and then contrasting it with the potential obstacles or challenges that you might face. For example, if your goal is to write a book, you can imagine how it would feel to finish it and then think about what might prevent you from doing so. Mental contrasting can help you to anticipate and prepare for difficulties and to boost your confidence and resilience.
Using social support: social support is the assistance or encouragement that you receive from other people who share your goals or values. For example, if your goal is to quit smoking, you can join a support group, ask a friend to be your accountability partner, or seek professional help. Social support can help you to stay motivated, inspired, and accountable.
How to apply emotional agility in different domains of life
Emotional agility is not only useful for personal growth, but also for improving various aspects of your life such as work, relationships, parenting, and health. Here are some examples of how emotional agility can help you in these domains:
Domain
Example
Work
Emotional agility can help you to cope with stress, uncertainty, and change in the workplace. It can also help you to enhance your performance, creativity, and leadership skills. For example, you can use emotional agility to:
- Show up to your emotions when you face a challenge or a setback at work, instead of suppressing or venting them.
- Step out of your thoughts when you have negative or limiting beliefs about yourself or your abilities, instead of believing or avoiding them.
- Walk your why when you have a project or a task that aligns with your values and passions, instead of following the crowd or the status quo.
- Move on when you have a goal or a change that matters to you and your career, instead of procrastinating or giving up.
Relationships
Emotional agility can help you to improve your communication, empathy, and intimacy with your partner, family, friends, and colleagues. It can also help you to resolve conflicts, cope with losses, and support others. For example, you can use emotional agility to:
- Show up to your emotions when you feel hurt, angry, or sad in a relationship, instead of hiding or blaming them.
- Step out of your thoughts when you have unrealistic or unfair expectations of yourself or others in a relationship, instead of clinging or imposing them.
- Walk your why when you have a value or a principle that guides your relationship choices and behaviors, instead of compromising or betraying them.
- Move on when you have a problem or a change that affects your relationship quality and satisfaction, instead of ignoring or resisting them.
Parenting
Emotional agility can help you to raise happy, healthy, and resilient children. It can also help you to deal with the challenges and joys of parenthood. For example, you can use emotional agility to:
- Show up to your emotions when you feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or guilty as a parent, instead of denying or projecting them.
- Step out of your thoughts when you have rigid or unrealistic rules or standards for yourself or your children, instead of enforcing or imposing them.
- Walk your why when you have a vision or a purpose that inspires your parenting style and decisions, instead of following the trends or the norms.
- Move on when you have a change or a transition that affects your family dynamics and well-being, instead of avoiding or resisting them.
Health
Emotional agility can help you to improve your physical and mental health. It can also help you to prevent or manage chronic diseases and conditions. For example, you can use emotional agility to:
- Show up to your emotions when you feel stressed, anxious, or depressed about your health, instead of numbing or escaping them.
- Step out of your thoughts when you have negative or distorted thoughts about your body image or self-worth, instead of believing or avoiding them.
- Walk your why when you have a value or a goal that motivates your health choices and behaviors, instead of following the fads or the pressures.
- Move on when you have a habit or a change that improves your health outcomes and quality of life, instead of delaying or quitting them.
How to download the book and take the free quiz
If you are interested in learning more about emotional agility and how to apply it in your own life, we recommend that you get a copy of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David. You can download the book from Amazon.com in Kindle, Audible, Hardcover, Paperback, or Audio CD formats.
You can also take a free quiz to assess your emotional agility and get personalized feedback and tips. The quiz takes about 10 minutes to complete and is based on scientific research. You can access the quiz here: https://bitly.com/ea-quiz.
Conclusion
Emotional agility is a powerful skill that can help you to cope with change, uncertainty, and complexity in life. It can also help you to achieve your goals, improve your relationships, enhance your well-being, and contribute to your communities. By following the four steps of emotional agility: showing up, stepping out, walking your why, and moving on, you can learn how to navigate your emotions and thoughts with courage and compassion, and align your actions with your values and purpose.
We hope that this article has given you an overview of what emotional agility is and how to develop it. We also hope that you will download the book and take the quiz to learn more about this topic. Remember that emotional agility is not something that you have or don't have. It is something that you can practice and improve every day.
FAQs
Here are some frequently asked questions about the book and emotional agility:
Who is Susan David?Susan David is a psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School; co-founder and co-director of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital; and CEO of Evidence Based Psychology, a boutique business consultancy. She is also an in-demand speaker and advisor who has worked with the senior leadership of hundreds of major organizations. She is the author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, which was named one of the best books of the year by Amazon, Business Insider, Forbes, Huffington Post, Inc., Fast Company, Newsweek, Oprah.com among others.
What is the difference between emotional agility and emotional intelligence?Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, understand, and manage your own and others' emotions. Emotional agility is the ability to use your emotions and thoughts as a source of information and guidance, and to adapt your actions to your values and goals. Emotional intelligence is a prerequisite for emotional agility, but not enough. Emotional agility also requires the skills of mindfulness, cognitive distancing, self-compassion, humor, values clarification, goal setting, action taking, and social support.
How can I improve my emotional agility?You can improve your emotional agility by practicing the four steps of emotional agility: showing up, stepping out, walking your why, and moving on. You can also read the book Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David, which provides more insights, examples, and exercises on how to develop emotional agility. You can also take the free quiz to assess your emotional agility and get personalized feedback and tips.
Is emotional agility the same as resilience?No, emotional agility is not the same as resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity or stress. Emotional agility is the ability to adapt to change or complexity. Resilience is an outcome of emotional agility, but not the only one. Emotional agility also leads to outcomes such as growth, fulfillment, and contribution.
Can emotional agility help me with anxiety or depression?Yes, emotional agility can help you with anxiety or depression. Anxiety and depression are often caused or worsened by avoiding or suppressing negative emotions or thoughts, or by acting in ways that are inconsistent with your values or goals. Emotional agility can help you to face your emotions and thoughts with courage and compassion, and to act in ways that are aligned with your values and goals. This can help you to reduce your distress and increase your well-being.
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